A community-based forum for anyone wanting to share gratitude, kudos and thanks. Content generated by all.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Photogs and the World Around Us

In honour of World Environment Day, which was yesterday, I'd like to give a shout out to some of my favourite photographers bringing awareness to environmental and climate issues, and how these issues affect wildlife.

Below is a small sample of their work and links to their Instagram accounts, where you can view more of their photos and the stories that go along with these images below. Kudos to all of you for the amazing work you do!

© Ami Vitale

© Cristina Mittermeier

© Bertie Gregory (video screenshot)

© Paul Nicklen

© Carlton Ward Jr.

© Keith Ladzinski

© Thomas Peschak

Sidebar: is it just me, or are there way too many "World Day" or "National Day" of celebrations these days? How did that happen? Who makes up these celebrations, anyway?

Contribute to 12 Months of Gratitude!
This project began in January with the intention to provide a forum for giving thanks, recognizing those that are doing good in the world, and sharing stories that inspire us to be and do better. Anyone can contribute a story! For more on how to submit a post to this space, please read the Submission Guidelines.

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Saving Myself, One Meal at a Time

At the end of May, I celebrated my one year anniversary of being vegan.

For nearly 38 years, I ate meat. I grew up in Saskatchewan, after all. But I always loved animals. I had pets growing up. I knew plenty of hunters (again, Saskatchewan) but never understood why anyone would want to shoot or harm a living creature.

And I was a champion for the environment. I recycled everything: paper, plastic. I never left the tap running while brushing my teeth. I mended socks and wore clothing items until they were threadbare.

As I grew older, I got really good at ignoring these instincts when it came to what I ate. I became a so-called "foodie," trying everything, becoming a local expert amongst my friends and colleagues on the best up-and-coming restaurants and cuisines. I always knew what hip new place was opening and, in many cases, was ahead of the masses in getting a table. No menu selection was off limits: bone marrow, sweetbreads, tripe, foie gras, veal.

© Cowspiracy on Instagram
I guess I wanted to be like everyone else I knew, dismissing videos showing cruelty to dairy cows or baby chicks being thrown into compactors. I decried "extremist" organizations like PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), and wanted to believe the footage was somehow doctored or created under pretense, touted as propaganda.

But at some point, I started paying attention - mainly, because I could no longer believe my own bullshit.

The Vegan Society defines veganism as "a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose." Vegans eat a "plant-based diet avoiding all animal foods such as meat (including fish, shellfish and insects), dairy, eggs and honey" and avoid the use of "products like leather and any tested on animals."

The way I like to think of it is: no animals or animal-derived or tested products on your plate or person.

After nearly 38 years of blindly eating meat, I woke up. I accepted that the choices I was making when it came to food were wrong. I made the connection that what I was eating was once an animal who didn't want to die, who was tortured, who experienced pain and unimaginable fear - all in the name of nom nom nom.

I realized that sharing my pictures of meat-based meals on Instagram and Facebook was not only absurd, it was serving to perpetuate the normalization of inherently cruel and disgusting conditions in animal agriculture. By hanging on to my identity as a meat-based "foodie" and posting these pictures on social media, I was complicit in the exploitation of animals and the desecration of our planet to fuel humanity's sense of domination over all other forms of life.

© Sea Shepherd
No more. After a year of being vegan, I've learned so much. I am finally making decisions that are in-line with my values and beliefs. I am finally living a life that feels full of purpose. And my regrets are down to one: that I didn't go vegan sooner.

But I couldn't have done this alone. I am grateful to organizations like PETA and Mercy for Animals, who seek to end cruelty to animals by exposing the inhumane and torturous conditions in factory farming. These organizations inspired me to look past the end of my own nose and stomach, towards something greater: true respect for all creatures.

I am thankful for all of the animal sanctuaries (too numerous to name!), working to rescue animals who were destined for slaughter. These places give animals a home, a safe place to live the rest of their lives the way they always should have - in peace.

© Esther the Wonder Pig on Instagram
I am grateful for all of the individuals trying to make a difference and save the world - living by example, and promoting veganism in a positive and respectful way. This is not always easy to do, knowing just how much suffering and destruction is caused by those who choose to unapologetically eat meat without a second thought.

But lastly, I am thankful for friends, family and colleagues who have respected my decision to become vegan, who have expressed curiosity and interest in the reasons why, and remain open-minded when I sometimes get a little preachy. Thank you for your understanding and willingness to listen and learn more.

If you are curious and want to read more, here is a list of my favourite resources that inspired and helped me get started with being vegan:


Saturday, April 7, 2018

A Retiring Story

As I write this, Henrik and Daniel Sedin are getting ready to play their last ever game as Vancouver Canucks against the Oilers in Edmonton.

A universe of nice things has been said this week about these two, in such adoring and eloquent fashion, by the likes of Iain MacIntyreBrian Burke and others from around the league. For that reason, I hesitated in writing this post. But this blog is about gratitude, and I have so much gratitude and respect for these two NHL players who are part of this Vancouver community, that I've chosen to string together a few words, though words have been hard to come by these days.

From boys...
Pic cred: Jim Rogash/AP
Henrik and Daniel came to Vancouver in 1999. Their start in the NHL was not an easy road. They endured ridicule. They endured being underrated. But quietly, over time, they persevered. They worked hard. They earned everything that came to them. Slowly but surely, these two young NHL players from Sweden won over hearts and fans. They earned respect. They became two strong men who now retire as beloved, career-long Vancouver Canucks. "Good players, but even better people," is one phrase that has been commonly batted about this week by the media.

I moved to Vancouver not long after the Sedins had been drafted and totally fell in love with this place, much like they did. Truth be told, I wasn't that into hockey when I was younger. But then I moved here, started watching Canucks games and eventually, I became a fan. Watching the Sedinery develop over the years certainly played a big role in that. Being roughly the same age as Henrik and Daniel, I wonder if - like for me - Vancouver was a new start for them, a chance to grow and learn more about themselves at a time in life where one can be faced with uncertainty and doubt.

When equally beloved Canuck Trevor Linden announced his retirement in June 2008 and never stepped on the ice professionally again I'd said, "It’s sad, but not entirely unexpected. And unbelievable, the level of adoration a lofty city such as Vancouver can have for one man. Do I ever wish I'd had the opportunity to be at the last game of the season in April, to see that standing ovation and say goodbye. It's true, that this city will probably never see the likes of him again. To adopt the cliché, it is definitely the end of an era."

...to men.
Pic cred: @Canucks
Henrik and Daniel said thanks to the fans and, by announcing their retirement with three games in the season to go, they gave fans the opportunity to say thanks in return. Undoubtedly, the Sedins will be missed. Adoration levels for these men have been off the charts. Appreciation has been paid. Tears have been shed. Viking claps have been clapped. And in some ways, this still doesn't seem real. I know it is - they've said so themselves - but I suppose I'll only believe it when next season comes and they're not on the ice.

To the Sedins I say: thanks for being amazing role models, for showing up every day, bringing your all, working hard for everything and never giving up. I am so glad you stuck it out. I am so glad you stayed. I am privileged to have witnessed the evolution of your career, and to have experienced your time as Canucks. Thanks for being good humans. Thanks for making me a fan. While I, like so many others, am heartbroken that this is the end, there is no question that it is well earned.

Enjoy retirement, Hank and Danny. You deserve it. 

Saturday, March 3, 2018

Kind Deeds Making the Internet: #7 and #8

It's been busier than usual in my life, which means I've fallen behind these past few weeks on Kind Deeds Making the Internet. But here we are, back again! Here are my favourite stories of nice people doing nice things from two weeks ago (week #7) and last week (week #8).

Remember: I'm still looking for your stories on gratitude! If you're interested, view the submission guidelines and be in touch. Anyone can submit a story. Why not you?

More Olympic-style kindness at February's end
Officers from the RCMP and the Korean National Police Agency leapt into action in PyeongChang to help revive a South Korean boy who was choking during one of the men's hockey matches. While both stressed they were doing what any other first responder would have done, a spokesperson with the PyeongChang Organizing Committee commended both officers for acting as examples of "teamwork" during the Olympic Games.

When Canadian figure skater Gabrielle Daleman fell several times during her free skate performance in PyeongChang, fans were quick to offer their sympathy and support, encouraging the skater to learn from the experience and remember that they are proud of her accomplishments.
© Pink Shirt Day 2018

Nice needs no filter
Pink Shirt Day began with two teenage boys in small-town Nova Scotia, Canada taking action to support a classmate who had been bullied for wearing a pink shirt to school. The initiative is now recognized yearly and raises funds to support anti-bullying programs and help other young people affected by bullying. See #PinkShirtDay, #PinkItForward and #NiceNeedsNoFilter coverage on Twitter for more.

We're all just animals trying to help one another
A rescue corgi being trained as a therapy dog saw a man in an airport - and instantly knew he needed comforting. Her human recounts that, "Somehow, Cora seemed to know that the man in the airport that day needed her love...Cora has a gift for love and compassion, and was able to bring the man a little comfort after losing his own furry friend."

Pic cred: sirpatstew on Instagram
Fans of Sir Patrick Stewart on Instagram will be familiar with Ginger, the pitbull he and his wife fostered before helping to find her her "furrever" home. Patrick and his wife are advocates for adopting rescue animals from humane societies like the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (ASPCA), and were thrilled for an opportunity to check in on Ginger and see that she is so loved by her new owner.

Workers from BC Hydro, Okanagan Pile Driving and Mike V's Automotive in British Columbia, Canada all recently pitched in to rescue a deer who had fallen into an icy lake. As one of the rescuers says, "The whole thing was pretty cool. Everyone just jumped in and got 'er done."

Hope y'all have a great weekend. Thank your helpers!

About Kind Deeds Making the Internet
Each Friday (or so), I will post highlights of cool people doing kind things that popped up in the news or in social media that week. Hopefully this will be inspirational in helping us all think about who we would like to acknowledge with gratitude, kudos or thanks. For future weekly highlights, be sure to send me anything you think would make for interesting reading.

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Kind Deeds Making the Internet: #6

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone who is celebrating! A happy belated Valentine's Day to all as well, regardless of whether you are single or attached - all we need is love, right? Here is this week's round up of cool people doing kind things.

Sunday supports
Dr. Kathrin Höppner, an Air Chemist in
Queen Maud Land, Antarctica © WMO retrieved from UN.org
International Day of Women and Girls in Science took place last Sunday. According to UN Women, the day is "an opportunity to take a stand for women and girls in science and to break the stereotypes that hold them back. Bridging the gender gap in science is vital for achieving sustainable development...although science-related fields are critical to national economies, most countries have not achieved gender equality in Science Technology Engineering and Mathematics (STEM)."

The annual Show of Hearts Telethon on Global BC also took place last Sunday, in support of Variety - The Children's Charity, raising nearly $5.5 million for children in need across British Columbia.

Matters of the heart
The 2018 Women's Memorial March on Valentine's Day marked the 26th consecutive gathering held to honour the lives of missing and murdered women and all women’s lives lost in Vancouver's Downtown Eastside. As put by the Annual Women's Memorial March website: "The first women’s memorial march was held in 1992 in response to the murder of a woman on Powell Street in Vancouver. Out of this sense of hopelessness and anger came an annual march on Valentine’s Day to express compassion, community, and caring for all women in Vancouver’s Downtown Eastside, Unceded Coast Salish Territories." See coverage from this year's march on The Georgia Straight and CBC News British Columbia.

© Travis Lupick, The Georgia Straight

Living the Olympic Philosophy
The PyeongChang 2018 Olympics are in full swing. The philosophy of the International Olympic Committee's Olympic Movement, as summarized by Scholastic, is to develop "good sportsmanship, sense of fair play, and respect for fellow athletes" and, through sport, teach "men and women of different races, religions, and nationalities to work peacefully together in competition toward common goals." It is in this spirit and philosophy that one story stuck out for me this week, given our current times - one of a Russian luger offering an athlete from the United States the use of his sled.

Florida
Finally, last week's tragic events in Parkland, Florida have been well covered on the internet and through traditional news outlets, with many comments offered via social media. Regardless of your position, let's recognize and remember people like Aaron Feis, the football coach who died shielding students from bullets, and survivors speaking truth to power and calling for change - including students like David Hogg, Sarah Chad and Carly Novell, among others.

Enjoy the remainder of the weekend.

About Kind Deeds Making the Internet
Each Friday (or so), I will post highlights of cool people doing kind things that popped up in the news or in social media that week. Hopefully this will be inspirational in helping us all think about who we would like to acknowledge with gratitude, kudos or thanks. For future weekly highlights, be sure to send me anything you think would make for interesting reading.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

Snow Grateful

Having grown up on the Canadian prairies, I am no stranger to frigid weather. That said, having now spent nearly two decades (!) on the temperate west coast, I feel no shame in opting to curl up under a cozy blanket versus heading outside when even a hint of snow is in the forecast.

Thank you, today's snowfall warning, for giving me a guilt-free excuse to stay home. Today's "me forecast": blogging, internet surfing and television watching.

© weather.com

Monday, February 12, 2018

Finding Common Ground in Canada

Credit: CBC News Business, 2018
The past couple of weeks in Canada have been polarizing. From escalating action over pipelines in British Columbia and Alberta with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau taking heat in Nanaimo, to racial tensions in Saskatchewan coming to the forefront following the Gerald Stanley acquittal in the shooting of Colten Boushie, one could be forgiven for thinking our country is imploding.

In a Creative Mornings talk given in Vancouver last month, journalist Erin Millar of Discourse talked about the media's role in creating anxiety. She asked the audience to raise their hands in response to their individual levels of anxiety: "Who generally feels like they're not feeling anxiety right now? What is wrong with you? Have you been paying attention?" After briefly describing the threats of global warming, leaders who are "increasingly hate-filled, racist, authoritarian" and the threat of nuclear war, she asked again for another show of hands: "Now, everyone. Are we feeling a reasonable amount of anxiety?"

Screenshot of Erin Millar © Creative Mornings Vancouver, 2018
Spend too much time looking at the news (like me), and it all starts to feel like we are on a fast moving train that has lost control and will leap off the tracks at any given moment, ending in a fiery, bloody crash. How to stop this derailment? How to disembark from this train without disengaging one's self from current affairs entirely?

I've worked professionally in engagement in one way or another for the past decade or so, which has led me to believe that collaboration is always the answer. Engagement is "any process that involves the public in problem solving or decision-making and uses their input to make sustainable decisions" (International Association for Public Engagement (IAP2) Foundations in Public Participation, 2016). Good engagement processes force people to think about the values of others and in what areas common ground is shared. But is there a point at which engagement cannot be successful? After all, as put by Tony Seskus in a recent CBC article about Trans Mountain: "Such polarization makes collaboration hard to accomplish."

True, perhaps. But a recent study suggests that Canadians are really not so polarized when it comes to heavily politicized topics. Research in 2015 by Université de Montréal political science professor Éric Montpetit and co-authors Erick Lachapelle and Simon Kiss was undertaken to combat the perception that "interregional disagreements in Canada are harmful to policy-making and policy acceptance" due to the fact that Canada is one of the most decentralized federations in the world, creating a lack of cohesion when it comes to national and provincial policy decisions. In other words: provinces may be seemingly pitted against one another due to their competing interests and cultures, but the researchers found this is not the case.

The methodological approach to this research encompassed questions related to multiple areas of controversy: immigration, oil pipelines, balanced budget, highway tolls, unions, the gun registry, religious symbols, militaristic foreign policy, oil [tar] sands, policy power, workplace safety and abortion. These areas were then reduced to three primary values held by Canadians:

  • Egalitarianism: social justice and equality in society; 
  • Traditionalism: traditional organization of society; and 
  • Legal rigorism: the rule of law for everyone and respect for authority.

© Institute for Research on Public Policy (IRPP), 2017
It's among these values that the research suggests that while, on the surface, we appear to be so divided, underneath it all we do share common ground - maybe not in exactly the same ways, but overall on important issues and definitely across all five regions included in the study. When it comes to policy, the researchers contend that, if culture is equal to values, then there is more that unites us than divides us. In their words: "Canadians’ differences over values have a considerably greater effect on their public policy preferences than does the region where they live." Therefore, "policy should be designed, framed and promoted to appeal primarily to values, not to regions."

Isn’t that reassuring? To know that we, as a nation, generally value the same things? I must admit, when I first heard this information I was skeptical. “No way," I thought. "There’s no way this is true.” Sure, there are drawbacks to every methodological approach. But when I think about this research in the context of friends who live in Alberta and Saskatchewan, I obviously know that my friends and I share the same values even though we live in different parts of the country. But then factor in how things are presented in the media, and Erin Millar's observations on how current journalism is designed to keep us in fear in order for news outlets to stay in business, and it becomes less murky as to why we might feel estranged from each other and divided on what's best.

We may be literally spread far apart, which lends itself to thinking that our regional interests keep us far distanced from each other ideologically. But it behooves each of us to remember this research. And to think about these words by author Matt Haig: "Be nice to other people. At the universal level, they are you."

We're all just people. At the universal level, we are all the same. We care about the same things, even though it may not seem like it at particular points in time.

So next time you come across an internet troll, or someone on social media spewing opinions you just cannot agree with, remember this blog post. Remember that we, as humans, do share the same values - even if this can be hard to recognize. I, for one, am grateful for opportunities where we can collectively find common ground. I only hope that we don't give up on ourselves.

Sunday, February 11, 2018

Kind Deeds Making the Internet: #5

Happy Family Day long weekend to those in British Columbia and hope everyone else is having a nice Sunday.

This week's Kind Deeds Making the Internet has a bit of an activist bent to it. Change doesn't come without hard work and sacrifice. Kudos to these troublemakers for making a difference.

Fighting rental evictions together
CBC British Columbia wrote this week about the Vancouver Tenants Union: a group formed last spring in response to increasing numbers of renters who fear being evicted or priced out of their homes - sadly, an unfortunate reality in Vancouver. According to the story: "The group's membership has grown to nearly 1,000 people across the city...[and] has rallied around some tenants facing eviction over renovations and successfully helped them keep their homes."

100th anniversary of women's right to vote in the UK
Celebrations took place to recognize women gaining the right to vote in the United Kingdom 100 years ago. This was a result of the Representation of the People Act, which was passed on February 6, 1918 but came after much campaigning by suffragettes - many of whom were were jailed while fighting for the right to vote. See a summary of coverage available on Twitter Moments, and select opinion pieces on BBC NewsThe Independent and Cosmopolitan UK on what remains to be done.

© C-SPAN
Nancy Pelosi, the House Floor and American DREAMers 
Democratic Leader of the U.S. House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi used her "one minute" provided to her as House leader and talked for eight hours and seven minutes, urging Speaker Paul Ryan to ensure a vote to protect DREAMers - young undocumented immigrants who arrived in the United States as children. DREAMers had been protected from deportation under the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program, but the program was rescinded by Attorney General Jeff Sessions in September of last year. See Twitter Moments for highlights from Pelosi's filibuster-style speech.

Maclean's at a higher price point for men to reflect pay gap between men and women
Canadian news magazine Maclean's provided this week's issue with two separate covers and at two different prices - one at $8.81 for men, and the other at its regular price of $6.99 - to reflect and bring awareness to the 26 per cent gap between full-time wages paid to men and women in Canada. The $1.82 price differential will be donated to Indspire, a Indigenous-led registered charity that invests in the education of Indigenous people - a group for whom the pay gap is most extreme.

© Indspire

That's it! Go forth and shit disturb for the greater good. 

About Kind Deeds Making the Internet
Each Friday (or so), I will post highlights of cool people doing kind things that popped up in the news or in social media that week. Hopefully this will be inspirational in helping us all think about who we would like to acknowledge with gratitude, kudos or thanks. For future weekly highlights, be sure to send me anything you think would make for interesting reading.

Sunday, February 4, 2018

Kind Deeds Making the Internet: #4

To make the task of compiling Kind Deeds Making the Internet easier for me each week, I make sure to immediately take note when I come across a nice piece of news, or mentions on social media of humans being good. On the flip side, while searching for these positive stories, I can't help but notice just how many negative stories are out there as well. I haven't kept a running tally, but if I was a betting person I would not be surprised if someone did an analysis that revealed a monstrous number of bad stories over good. I mean, how many times have you ever thought we lived in The Bad Place or the Darkest Timeline??

That's why I think this weekly round-up - and 12 Months of Gratitude, in general - are so important. I'm a few days late with this post (I try to summarize and post on Fridays), but I'm still blogging about what I came across this week because it's hard to feel good about the state of the world when the scourge of humanity get all the airtime. Here are a few snippets for us all to reflect on what "being human" should really mean.

Screenshot cred: Sophie Grégoire Trudeau on Instagram,
February 1, 2018
Businesses tackling the stigma of mental illness
The annual Bell Let's Talk campaign took place last week, which aims to bring awareness to issues surrounding mental health and, in particular, to promote "mental health awareness, acceptance and action built on...fighting stigma, improving access to care, supporting world-class research and leading by example in workplace mental health." Many folks in Canada contributed to the conversation; see this handy compilation by Bell of what Canadians had to say about mental illness.

Google has also been doing its part to involve others in conversations around emotional distress, and has created a Made by Google video campaign, drawing on the experiences of real people, to promote the work of the Suicide Prevention Lifelife.

Inspiring others in art, life and wellness
When music producer and DJ J.PERIOD was just a young man, he wrote a letter to Wyclef Jean of The Fugees to debate the meaning of one of his lyrics. To the young man's surprise, Wyclef not only responded, but actually called J.PERIOD to have a discussion. As put by J.PERIOD: "It was an unbelievable act of generosity from a superstar. The conversation lasted nearly an hour. I was floored, even more by what came next: a lyric on The Score dedicated to the Kid. I was just a fan, and the fact that Wyclef went so far to bless me will never be forgotten." Years later, the two met and rehashed the experience. For all the details, check out the story on Twitter.

Screenshot cred: Bob Harper on Instagram, January 24, 2018
It shocked many when celebrity fitness personality Bob Harper had a heart attack in February 2017. Thankfully, he survived and has been sharing his experience to help others in their own personal health journeys. He's written many books about health, and #twocupsin is only one of his latest initiatives to provide tips and advice on living a healthy life. Check out the episode on managing stress which aired last week. See the first ever clip where he explains what #twocupsin is all about.

Helping those who need it the most
The Sunday Edition on CBC last weekend aired a story about a post office for the homeless in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. This post office was created by volunteer and Canadian immigrant Bin Wang at a community organization called Le Sac à Dos, and provides mail slots for people with no fixed address, who would have no way to receive mail otherwise. The story comes in at about five and a half minutes, and is a great listen for anyone needing a boost of faith in humanity.

Research conducted in 2011 and 2012 showed that more than one million Canadian households were either moderately or severely food insecure, meaning that they were sometimes uncertain of having, or being unable to acquire, enough food to meet the needs of everyone in the household - including children. A petition was started last week urging the Canadian government to implement a national anti-food waste law, "requiring that all supermarkets give unused food to foodbanks...It is doable, and it is already being done in communities worldwide." See highlights from News1130 on this movement to reduce food waste.

Locals helping locals
And finally, a story for those in Vancouver. Patrons of restaurant Café Medina will be glad to know the establishment has dropped its "no reservations" policy for the month of February in support of the BC Hospitality Foundation (BCHF), a local non-profit charity that provides support for individuals within the hospitality community who are coping with a financial crisis arising from a health or medical condition. The "Front of the Line" Fundraiser asks guests to make a $25 per table donation ($35 on Saturdays and Sundays), with 100 per cent of proceeds donated to BCHF. Read SCOUT Magazine's story for all the details.

That's it! Hope you're all making the most of your weekends. Be good to one another.

About Kind Deeds Making the Internet
Each Friday (or so), I will post highlights of cool people doing kind things that popped up in the news or in social media that week. Hopefully this will be inspirational in helping us all think about who we would like to acknowledge with gratitude, kudos or thanks. For future weekly highlights, be sure to send me anything you think would make for interesting reading.

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

A Day to Talk About Mental Health

Thank you to my brave friend Kathy for sharing her personal journey with mental illness. Let's do our best to reach out to those who are struggling, really listen to their stories, and share our stories too - not just today, but every day. We're all in this together, after all. Kathy's story first appeared on her personal Facebook page on January 29, 2018. 

I haven’t been myself for a while now. In October, I lost my beloved cat suddenly. At first I was experiencing grief, so much grief. But it turned into something more than what I could have imagined - this was more than just grieving my cat. I started on a journey of depression and anxiety. I say a journey because it feels like a journey. Some days I am okay and some days I can’t pull myself out of bed. Some days I just cry for hours. I stopped eating; I stopped sleeping; I stopped being me. I have lost 20 pounds and my hair fell out. It’s an ugly, painful, and sometimes, lonely journey.

#BellLetsTalk day is coming up on Weds, Jan 31. A day to talk about mental health. Rather than just change my profile picture or just say something brief about it to support the day, I feel like if we are really to talk about it, let’s talk about it, right? I have been living it - the truth is that I haven’t been okay for a while now. I put a lot of pressure and stress on myself to be like most people. I wanted to get married and have a family of my own and it wasn’t happening for me. However, the amount of pressure I put on myself became unhealthy. And, I kept it pretty much to myself for a long time. I didn’t want people to know that I was struggling. I grieved every time I saw another friend get married, have their first child, then second child. I grieved every time that I saw friends post their happy relationship statuses on social media and then the parade of photos – couples, baby and then family photos. Rather than letting people know how I was feeling, I turned inward and kept the pain to myself until I could not hold it anymore. And then when my cat died, I couldn’t even be myself anymore; there was nothing left.

The thing about mental illness is that you are not yourself. A good friend reminded me about that the other day when I said to her that, “I feel like the old Kathy has died and that I am trying to learn how to be the new Kathy.” But that’s the problem, isn’t it? When you are going through mental illness, it is hard to be yourself. Sometimes when I tell people that I am depressed and have anxiety, they don’t know how to answer. Sometimes they ask me how I am handling it or sometimes they tell me that I need to not stress so much. When you are depressed, you can’t stop the way you are thinking and feeling. It doesn’t go away overnight. Sometimes it can be a life long struggle. But where I was lucky is that I knew how to ask for help and I was comfortable asking for help. I have good support network, but not everyone has this.

This journey that I have been on has been life changing. It has taught me a lot about myself and about others. It has taught me that I am stronger than I thought I was. It has taught me that there are some pretty amazing people in my life that have been there for me on my dark days and witnessed a lot of ugly crying. It has taught me to be grateful for what I do have. It has taught me to appreciate my family and friends that were there for me when I couldn’t take care of myself. It has taught me to appreciate my workplace that supports mental health initiatives and my manager and coworkers that have been by my side and patient with me. It has taught me that it is okay to say that I am not okay. It has taught me to be grateful that I am still here. If it weren’t for the amazing people in my life, I could be in a much darker place than I am right now. I am still working on healing myself. Like I said, there are good days and bad days.

Anyway, this has been my story for the last year and a half (well the part that I can share in less than 1000 words). I wanted to share it because I have had so many thoughts going through my mind about what to say. This has been a very private and painful experience for me but I feel like I shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed to share it. More people should feel that it is okay to share that they are not okay and not feeling like themselves. I don’t have anything profound to say other than to recognize that there are people around us that need help. Sometimes they don’t know how to ask for help or don’t know they can ask for help. Reach out to that friend you haven’t spoken to in a while; volunteer your time at a place of community where someone would probably really appreciate your company and a friendly face; ask people how they are doing and really listen; be an observer and recognize when someone needs help.

Monday, January 29, 2018

Writers Helping Writers

© TWSSFU
Over the weekend, I decided to join an online group of writers to sprint-write on our own, but "together" over social media.

The Writer's Studio at Simon Fraser University is designed to "help you develop your writing practice for personal interest and as a profession" and offers a program in Vancouver, as well as online. I am not alumni of The Writer's Studio (TWS), but this group hosts Twitter writing sprints, where those joining in write for 15 minutes, break for five minutes and repeat thrice. Mainly targeted to students and alumni, the exercise kindly welcomes all writers to participate.

The #TWSSprints, as they are known, provide a nice structure in which to write. As I'm sure other writers can attest, I've often found it difficult to write when there is too much time or flexibility involved. Deadlines are a good thing. Chunking up big pieces of work creates an environment where incremental progress can be observed.

All this to say, in my first ever Writing Sprint I managed to crank out 822 words in the 45 minutes of total writing time, the material of which will be refined, edited and eventually published on this space. What a great exercise to get a head start on some burgeoning story ideas that have been rattling around in the ol' noggin.

So big thanks, @TWSSFU, and to all the kind, supportive people I met on Twitter from this community of writers for "giving it away." Hope to see you again next month!

Want to make a submission to 12 Months of Gratitude but don't know where to start?
Be in touch. Let's hash out some ideas together, if need be. I'd also certainly recommend joining a #TWSSprints session, if you need the motivation and a little support. For the details on what can and can't be submitted, be sure to read the Submission Guidelines.

Friday, January 26, 2018

Kind Deeds Making the Internet: #3

Welcome to the third instalment of Kind Deeds Making the Internet.

An observation: while last week seemed to be filled with good deeds in the news, I didn't notice nearly as much of that this week. But - is that because I was having a less-than-stellar week myself? If I had been in a more pleasant mood, would I have been more receptive to and observant of happy things in the news? Food for thought.

Celebrating the kindness of strangers
In the words of Twitter Moments: "When @AtticusGF found out his newborn daughter would need surgery and extensive physical therapy at just a few weeks old, he started a GoFundMe for friends and family to help with medical bills and lost income as he and his wife cared for their baby. What he didn't expect was how many strangers would join in with support, both financial and emotional." Check out the summary on Twitter Moments for the details.

Ladies: have you ever been in an awkward or even scary situation when someone you don't know comes up to you and refuses to leave you alone, despite polite refusals of advances? A woman shares how a stranger helped save her from an uncomfortable situation and gives me hope that there are others out there that will have our backs.

On the heels of last week's updates
Last week, I highlighted the brave women in the trial of Larry Nassar who have stepped forward to give their victim impact statements and expose his predatory actions. This week, Nassar was sentenced to up to 175 years in prison. Another good that came out of this horrific story? Those who gained a sisterhood of survivors.

© ABC and Shondaland
More from Grey's Anatomy, who has been serving up a story arc involving domestic abuse. The episode which aired towards the end of last week put a particular spotlight on the issue, and provided information to viewers on how to go about contacting the National Domestic Violence Hotline (warning: story also contains show spoilers).

Marching on
Finally, a round-up of this week's good deeds would not be complete without a mention of the Women's March which took place in the United States, Canada and various locations throughout the world in the wake of the government shutdown. There's plenty of Women's March coverage out there, but I think my personal favourite sum-up is this tweet by Dan Hetteix:

Link to tweet

That's it for now. Wishing you all a great weekend. 

About Kind Deeds Making the Internet
Each Friday (or so), I will post highlights of cool people doing kind things that popped up in the news or in social media that week. Hopefully this will be inspirational in helping us all think about who we would like to acknowledge with gratitude, kudos or thanks. For future weekly highlights, be sure to send me anything you think would make for interesting reading.