Saving Myself, One Meal at a Time

At the end of May, I celebrated my one year anniversary of being vegan.

For nearly 38 years, I ate meat. I grew up in Saskatchewan, after all. But I always loved animals. I had pets growing up. I knew plenty of hunters (again, Saskatchewan) but never understood why anyone would want to shoot or harm a living creature.

And I was a champion for the environment. I recycled everything: paper, plastic. I never left the tap running while brushing my teeth. I mended socks and wore clothing items until they were threadbare.

As I grew older, I got really good at ignoring these instincts when it came to what I ate. I became a so-called "foodie," trying everything, becoming a local expert amongst my friends and colleagues on the best up-and-coming restaurants and cuisines. I always knew what hip new place was opening and, in many cases, was ahead of the masses in getting a table. No menu selection was off limits: bone marrow, sweetbreads, tripe, foie gras, veal.

© Cowspiracy on Instagram

I guess I wanted to be like everyone else I knew, dismissing videos showing cruelty to dairy cows or baby chicks being thrown into compactors. I decried "extremist" organizations like PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals), and wanted to believe the footage was somehow doctored or created under pretense, touted as propaganda.

But at some point, I started paying attention - mainly, because I could no longer believe my own bullshit.

The Vegan Society defines veganism as "a way of living which seeks to exclude, as far as is possible and practicable, all forms of exploitation of, and cruelty to, animals for food, clothing or any other purpose." Vegans eat a "plant-based diet avoiding all animal foods such as meat (including fish, shellfish and insects), dairy, eggs and honey" and avoid the use of "products like leather and any tested on animals."

The way I like to think of it is: no animals or animal-derived or tested products on your plate or person.

After nearly 38 years of blindly eating meat, I woke up. I accepted that the choices I was making when it came to food were wrong. I made the connection that what I was eating was once an animal who didn't want to die, who was tortured, who experienced pain and unimaginable fear - all in the name of nom nom nom.

I realized that sharing my pictures of meat-based meals on Instagram and Facebook was not only absurd, it was serving to perpetuate the normalization of inherently cruel and disgusting conditions in animal agriculture. By hanging on to my identity as a meat-based "foodie" and posting these pictures on social media, I was complicit in the exploitation of animals and the desecration of our planet to fuel humanity's sense of domination over all other forms of life.

© Sea Shepherd

No more. After a year of being vegan, I've learned so much. I am finally making decisions that are in-line with my values and beliefs. I am finally living a life that feels full of purpose. And my regrets are down to one: that I didn't go vegan sooner.

But I couldn't have done this alone. I am grateful to organizations like PETA and Mercy for Animals, who seek to end cruelty to animals by exposing the inhumane and torturous conditions in factory farming. These organizations inspired me to look past the end of my own nose and stomach, towards something greater: true respect for all creatures.

I am thankful for all of the animal sanctuaries (too numerous to name!), working to rescue animals who were destined for slaughter. These places give animals a home, a safe place to live the rest of their lives the way they always should have - in peace.

© Esther the Wonder Pig on Instagram

I am grateful for all of the individuals trying to make a difference and save the world - living by example, and promoting veganism in a positive and respectful way. This is not always easy to do, knowing just how much suffering and destruction is caused by those who choose to unapologetically eat meat without a second thought.

But lastly, I am thankful for friends, family and colleagues who have respected my decision to become vegan, who have expressed curiosity and interest in the reasons why, and remain open-minded when I sometimes get a little preachy. Thank you for your understanding and willingness to listen and learn more.

If you are curious and want to read more, here is a list of my favourite resources that inspired and helped me get started with being vegan:

• Food Politics: How the Food Industry Influences Nutrition and Health by Marion Nestle
• Steve Jenkins and Derek Walter’s TEDx Talk at St. Lawrence College
• Esther the Wonder Pig by Steve Jenkins and Derek Walter
• Documentaries such as Cowspiracy and What the Health by Kip Andersen and Keegan Kuhn
• The Vegetarian Starter Guide by ChooseVeg, a project of Mercy for Animals

© Whitman Edmiston

A Retiring Story

As I write this, Henrik and Daniel Sedin are getting ready to play their last ever game as Vancouver Canucks against the Oilers in Edmonton.

A universe of nice things has been said this week about these two, in such adoring and eloquent fashion, by the likes of Iain MacIntyre, Brian Burke and others from around the league. For that reason, I hesitated in writing this post. But this blog is about gratitude, and I have so much gratitude and respect for these two NHL players who are part of this Vancouver community, that I've chosen to string together a few words, though words have been hard to come by these days.

From boys...
Pic cred: Jim Rogash/AP

Henrik and Daniel came to Vancouver in 1999. Their start in the NHL was not an easy road. They endured ridicule. They endured being underrated. But quietly, over time, they persevered. They worked hard. They earned everything that came to them. Slowly but surely, these two young NHL players from Sweden won over hearts and fans. They earned respect. They became two strong men who now retire as beloved, career-long Vancouver Canucks. "Good players, but even better people," is one phrase that has been commonly batted about this week by the media.

I moved to Vancouver not long after the Sedins had been drafted and totally fell in love with this place, much like they did. Truth be told, I wasn't that into hockey when I was younger. But then I moved here, started watching Canucks games and eventually, I became a fan. Watching the Sedinery develop over the years certainly played a big role in that. Being roughly the same age as Henrik and Daniel, I wonder if - like for me - Vancouver was a new start for them, a chance to grow and learn more about themselves at a time in life where one can be faced with uncertainty and doubt.

When equally beloved Canuck Trevor Linden announced his retirement in June 2008 and never stepped on the ice professionally again I'd said, "It’s sad, but not entirely unexpected. And unbelievable, the level of adoration a lofty city such as Vancouver can have for one man. Do I ever wish I'd had the opportunity to be at the last game of the season in April, to see that standing ovation and say goodbye. It's true, that this city will probably never see the likes of him again. To adopt the cliché, it is definitely the end of an era."

...to men.
Pic cred: @Canucks

Henrik and Daniel said thanks to the fans and, by announcing their retirement with three games in the season to go, they gave fans the opportunity to say thanks in return. Undoubtedly, the Sedins will be missed. Adoration levels for these men have been off the charts. Appreciation has been paid. Tears have been shed. Viking claps have been clapped. And in some ways, this still doesn't seem real. I know it is - they've said so themselves - but I suppose I'll only believe it when next season comes and they're not on the ice.

To the Sedins I say: thanks for being amazing role models, for showing up every day, bringing your all, working hard for everything and never giving up. I am so glad you stuck it out. I am so glad you stayed. I am privileged to have witnessed the evolution of your career, and to have experienced your time as Canucks. Thanks for being good humans. Thanks for making me a fan. While I, like so many others, am heartbroken that this is the end, there is no question that it is well earned.

Enjoy retirement, Hank and Danny. You deserve it. 

Finding Common Ground in Canada

Credit: CBC News Business, 2018

The past couple of weeks in Canada have been polarizing. From escalating action over pipelines in British Columbia and Alberta with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau taking heat in Nanaimo, to racial tensions in Saskatchewan coming to the forefront following the Gerald Stanley acquittal in the shooting of Colten Boushie, one could be forgiven for thinking our country is imploding.

In a Creative Mornings talk given in Vancouver last month, journalist Erin Millar of Discourse talked about the media's role in creating anxiety. She asked the audience to raise their hands in response to their individual levels of anxiety: "Who generally feels like they're not feeling anxiety right now? What is wrong with you? Have you been paying attention?" After briefly describing the threats of global warming, leaders who are "increasingly hate-filled, racist, authoritarian" and the threat of nuclear war, she asked again for another show of hands: "Now, everyone. Are we feeling a reasonable amount of anxiety?"

Screenshot of Erin Millar © Creative Mornings Vancouver, 2018

Spend too much time looking at the news (like me), and it all starts to feel like we are on a fast moving train that has lost control and will leap off the tracks at any given moment, ending in a fiery, bloody crash. How to stop this derailment? How to disembark from this train without disengaging one's self from current affairs entirely?

I've worked professionally in engagement in one way or another for the past decade or so, which has led me to believe that collaboration is always the answer. Engagement is "any process that involves the public in problem solving or decision-making and uses their input to make sustainable decisions" (International Association for Public Engagement (IAP2) Foundations in Public Participation, 2016). Good engagement processes force people to think about the values of others and in what areas common ground is shared. But is there a point at which engagement cannot be successful? After all, as put by Tony Seskus in a recent CBC article about Trans Mountain: "Such polarization makes collaboration hard to accomplish."

True, perhaps. But a recent study suggests that Canadians are really not so polarized when it comes to heavily politicized topics. Research in 2015 by Université de Montréal political science professor Éric Montpetit and co-authors Erick Lachapelle and Simon Kiss was undertaken to combat the perception that "interregional disagreements in Canada are harmful to policy-making and policy acceptance" due to the fact that Canada is one of the most decentralized federations in the world, creating a lack of cohesion when it comes to national and provincial policy decisions. In other words: provinces may be seemingly pitted against one another due to their competing interests and cultures, but the researchers found this is not the case.

The methodological approach to this research encompassed questions related to multiple areas of controversy: immigration, oil pipelines, balanced budget, highway tolls, unions, the gun registry, religious symbols, militaristic foreign policy, oil [tar] sands, policy power, workplace safety and abortion. These areas were then reduced to three primary values held by Canadians:

• Egalitarianism: social justice and equality in society; 
• Traditionalism: traditional organization of society; and 
• Legal rigorism: the rule of law for everyone and respect for authority.

© Institute for Research on Public Policy (IRPP), 2017

It's among these values that the research suggests that while, on the surface, we appear to be so divided, underneath it all we do share common ground - maybe not in exactly the same ways, but overall on important issues and definitely across all five regions included in the study. When it comes to policy, the researchers contend that, if culture is equal to values, then there is more that unites us than divides us. In their words: "Canadians’ differences over values have a considerably greater effect on their public policy preferences than does the region where they live." Therefore, "policy should be designed, framed and promoted to appeal primarily to values, not to regions."

Isn’t that reassuring? To know that we, as a nation, generally value the same things? I must admit, when I first heard this information I was skeptical. “No way," I thought. "There’s no way this is true.” Sure, there are drawbacks to every methodological approach. But when I think about this research in the context of friends who live in Alberta and Saskatchewan, I obviously know that my friends and I share the same values even though we live in different parts of the country. But then factor in how things are presented in the media, and Erin Millar's observations on how current journalism is designed to keep us in fear in order for news outlets to stay in business, and it becomes less murky as to why we might feel estranged from each other and divided on what's best.

We may be literally spread far apart, which lends itself to thinking that our regional interests keep us far distanced from each other ideologically. But it behooves each of us to remember this research. And to think about these words by author Matt Haig: "Be nice to other people. At the universal level, they are you."

We're all just people. At the universal level, we are all the same. We care about the same things, even though it may not seem like it at particular points in time.

So next time you come across an internet troll, or someone on social media spewing opinions you just cannot agree with, remember this blog post. Remember that we, as humans, do share the same values - even if this can be hard to recognize. I, for one, am grateful for opportunities where we can collectively find common ground. I only hope that we don't give up on ourselves.

A Day to Talk About Mental Health

Thank you to my brave friend Kathy for sharing her personal journey with mental illness. Let's do our best to reach out to those who are struggling, really listen to their stories, and share our stories too - not just today, but every day. We're all in this together, after all. Kathy's story first appeared on her personal Facebook page on January 29, 2018. 

I haven’t been myself for a while now. In October, I lost my beloved cat suddenly. At first I was experiencing grief, so much grief. But it turned into something more than what I could have imagined - this was more than just grieving my cat. I started on a journey of depression and anxiety. I say a journey because it feels like a journey. Some days I am okay and some days I can’t pull myself out of bed. Some days I just cry for hours. I stopped eating; I stopped sleeping; I stopped being me. I have lost 20 pounds and my hair fell out. It’s an ugly, painful, and sometimes, lonely journey.

#BellLetsTalk day is coming up on Weds, Jan 31. A day to talk about mental health. Rather than just change my profile picture or just say something brief about it to support the day, I feel like if we are really to talk about it, let’s talk about it, right? I have been living it - the truth is that I haven’t been okay for a while now. I put a lot of pressure and stress on myself to be like most people. I wanted to get married and have a family of my own and it wasn’t happening for me. However, the amount of pressure I put on myself became unhealthy. And, I kept it pretty much to myself for a long time. I didn’t want people to know that I was struggling. I grieved every time I saw another friend get married, have their first child, then second child. I grieved every time that I saw friends post their happy relationship statuses on social media and then the parade of photos – couples, baby and then family photos. Rather than letting people know how I was feeling, I turned inward and kept the pain to myself until I could not hold it anymore. And then when my cat died, I couldn’t even be myself anymore; there was nothing left.

The thing about mental illness is that you are not yourself. A good friend reminded me about that the other day when I said to her that, “I feel like the old Kathy has died and that I am trying to learn how to be the new Kathy.” But that’s the problem, isn’t it? When you are going through mental illness, it is hard to be yourself. Sometimes when I tell people that I am depressed and have anxiety, they don’t know how to answer. Sometimes they ask me how I am handling it or sometimes they tell me that I need to not stress so much. When you are depressed, you can’t stop the way you are thinking and feeling. It doesn’t go away overnight. Sometimes it can be a life long struggle. But where I was lucky is that I knew how to ask for help and I was comfortable asking for help. I have good support network, but not everyone has this.

This journey that I have been on has been life changing. It has taught me a lot about myself and about others. It has taught me that I am stronger than I thought I was. It has taught me that there are some pretty amazing people in my life that have been there for me on my dark days and witnessed a lot of ugly crying. It has taught me to be grateful for what I do have. It has taught me to appreciate my family and friends that were there for me when I couldn’t take care of myself. It has taught me to appreciate my workplace that supports mental health initiatives and my manager and coworkers that have been by my side and patient with me. It has taught me that it is okay to say that I am not okay. It has taught me to be grateful that I am still here. If it weren’t for the amazing people in my life, I could be in a much darker place than I am right now. I am still working on healing myself. Like I said, there are good days and bad days.

Anyway, this has been my story for the last year and a half (well the part that I can share in less than 1000 words). I wanted to share it because I have had so many thoughts going through my mind about what to say. This has been a very private and painful experience for me but I feel like I shouldn’t be embarrassed or ashamed to share it. More people should feel that it is okay to share that they are not okay and not feeling like themselves. I don’t have anything profound to say other than to recognize that there are people around us that need help. Sometimes they don’t know how to ask for help or don’t know they can ask for help. Reach out to that friend you haven’t spoken to in a while; volunteer your time at a place of community where someone would probably really appreciate your company and a friendly face; ask people how they are doing and really listen; be an observer and recognize when someone needs help.

Observing MLK

Today is Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. There's not much I can say about this incredible person that hasn't already been said more adequately by others. The King Center is a fantastic resource to learn more about Dr. King and provides this background on his life and philosophy:

Drawing inspiration from both his Christian faith and the peaceful teachings of Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. King led a nonviolent movement in the late 1950’s and ‘60s to achieve legal equality for African-Americans in the United States. While others were advocating for freedom by “any means necessary,” including violence, Martin Luther King, Jr. used the power of words and acts of nonviolent resistance, such as protests, grassroots organizing, and civil disobedience to achieve seemingly-impossible goals. He went on to lead similar campaigns against poverty and international conflict, always maintaining fidelity to his principles that men and women everywhere, regardless of color or creed, are equal members of the human family.

A great summary of Dr. King's words and achievements has also been collected on Twitter Moments.

Many like-minded associations and foundations encourage commemorating Dr. King by being of service to others. What did you get up to today? If you had today off, did you volunteer in your community? What did you do to help someone else? Let me know in the comments below.

© Corporation for National & Community Service

Happy Birthday, Dad

Thank you, Dad, for hiring me as your editor.

Readers of my previous blog Five by 35 will know that I spent the better part of last year fundraising for Diabetes Canada and training to run a marathon in memory of my dad, who died in 2016 after long suffering complications arising from type 2 diabetes.

But before all of that, before finding a passion in public service, even before moving to Canada's west coast - as a pre-teen, my dad would ask me to proofread materials he had written.

Frankly, he was a grumpy sort who liked to complain to various companies about things they were doing wrong and ways they could do things better. He wrote a lot of letters. In many ways, he was always trying to "get his." But having emigrated from the Philippines to Canada in 1971, with English as his second language, he wanted to make sure he was getting his point across in an effective manner.

Enter: me. Wee editor.

At first I would proofread these materials for free. Over time, I became... well, if not industrious over these requests, then definitely opportunistic. I would say he "hired" me when I started charging a dollar (or loonie, for my fellow Canucks) per letter.

Those letters were the first in a long line of materials over the years that I would proofread - not just for my dad, but for those in my work life, as well. I worked hard at being my dad's editor, and learned skills that have served me well even throughout my professional years: diligence, attention to detail, applying a critical eye to the written word.

Today would have been my dad's 80th birthday. I miss him but I am grateful for the time we had, including weird moments like discussing whether or not his grammar was correct and whether his opinions might be too strongly worded.

Happy birthday, Dad. There will never be another like you.

Me with my dad, as a tot and at my wedding 10 years ago

Giving Thanks

Jason Schneidman is a celebrity hairstylist and groomer and the proprietor of The Men's Groomer in Los Angeles. He also created the His Street Cuts campaign, providing free haircuts to LA's homeless population. Having struggled with addiction himself, after he got clean he recognized the importance of doing something to help others. As he says, "I was taught I have to give it away to keep it."

That's what this blog is about: giving it away to keep it.

Current State
It would be easy at this time in our history to throw our collective hands up and say, "Forget it! We've had enough." It can be difficult to find the good in our every day, given current political structures, populist views and incredibly divisive rhetoric we see in news headlines. I, for one, have never been fond of reading comments on news stories but in recent times, I have also grown increasingly weary of vitriol spewed on Facebook, Twitter and other social media.

12 Months of Gratitude
But I don't want to take myself out of the game. Instead of giving up, I'm leaning in. As much as our systems are flawed and imperfect, they are what we have. If the alternative is to not participate at all, then that's not good enough.

12 Months of Gratitude is an attempt to counter the negative. While gratitude and the concept of giving regular thanks is absolutely not new, I'm hoping this will be a way for us to see the good when so much around us is bad. This will be a place to give thanks - recognize those that are doing good in the world, provide kudos to those we've interacted with who have made a difference to others or helped us in some way, and share stories that inspire us to be and do better.

How It Works
Over the next 12 months, I want this blog to be a place for all of us. While I will certainly write about that which makes me grateful, I want all of you to do the same and your stories will be published here, on this blog.

Who can submit a story? Anyone.

Who can you thank or acknowledge? Whoever you like.

If you are reading this blog, then this blog belongs to you, too. It doesn't matter if you've never written anything before. If you want to submit a post, then do it! And of course, credit will be attributed to you. If you're shy and don't want to provide your name but still want to submit a story, we'll find a way to work around it e.g. written by "Anonymous." I am happy and more than willing to accommodate anyone who wants to share gratitude here.

For more on how to submit a post to this space, please read the Submission Guidelines.

Future State
In Prince Harry's interview with Former President Barack Obama towards the end of last year, Obama said this:

I can tell people what I genuinely believe: if we take responsibility for being involved in our own fate - if we participate, if we engage, if we speak out, if we work in our communities, if we volunteer, if we see the joy that comes from service to others - then all the problems that we face are solvable despite all the terrible news that we see, despite all the genuine cruelty, pain and hardship that people are experiencing around the world at any given moment.

If you had to choose a moment in human history in which you wanted to be born and you didn't know at the time whether you were going to be Prince Harry or Barack Obama or a small child in rural Africa or India, you'd choose today, because the fact is: the world is healthier, wealthier, better educated, more tolerant, more sophisticated, and less violent than just about any other time in human history.

It seems impossible to be able to change the world but I think Obama's stance on this is something worth remembering. Despite all the negative, there's no better time to create change - and be grateful - than right now.

For our part, let's contribute to the positive. Let's give it away to keep it.